Respect

I have read some news articles recently that refer to a statement that some women are making about being respected. It seems that the new buzz phrase among some is something like this: “We do not need to be modest to be respected.”

I may be old school on this, but I think that intentionally dressing immodestly and desiring respect for doing this is impossible. Respect, according to the dictionary, is “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.” When a person decides to be immodest, it is not something to admire, indeed demonstrates no ability, lacks quality, and has nothing to do with achievement.

Our culture is struggling because we seem to insist on living lives that are guided by mutually exclusive ideas. We demand respect without cause, insist on being right because we “just believe” something, and make those who disagree with us unacceptable, all while preaching tolerance.

Our children are growing up in a time where confusion reigns.

As in all matters, we need to get to the heart of the statements made concerning respect. Indeed, all people, all ages, and all races should be shown kindness, and should be able to live in a world that would love them and not use them. God created us to be relational, to love Him, and to love others. He did not create us to use Him or to use others, and when we do that, we create a troubled society.

I believe that the ladies who want to be respected, even when they dress immodestly, are not using the right concept. In theory, regardless of what someone does, we need to do what we can to help them be the best they can be, not to position ourselves to take advantage or hurt them in any way.

Personal responsibility goes both ways. No matter what situation I encounter, I need to have what is best in mind for the person or people involved.

God’s Word addresses this issue by explicitly telling women they need to dress modestly. Those who choose not to do so are going against what God has expressly warned us against, and God has good reasons to say what He says.

Because people “wear” clothes differently, it is often difficult to define modesty, and, due to this difficulty, it is often not addressed, and when it is, there are rules and regulations put in place that turn it into some legalistic formula that causes many to search and find loopholes.

I think the definition of modesty is more straightforward than we want to make it.

If someone dresses in a way that screams “Look at my body or a specific body part,” it is immodest. If someone dresses to specifically attract the opposite gender’s eyes to get them to desire them, it is immodest.

If all women dressed modestly, there would still be lustful men, men who want to use them, and they could still be objectified. Immodesty is not the cause of lewd behavior, just as porn is not the cause of lust. However, immodest dress and pornography have similar effects on a person in that it fuels what is already there, sometimes making the fires entirely out of control. Any fireman would tell you that if you limit the fuel, you will limit the fire.

We so often want to assign blame to someone or something else when the problems in life are usually ourselves. Sin is a problem. Dressing in a way that says that I do not care if someone struggles with lust is irresponsible. Thinking of using others for our pleasure is equally irresponsible.

We cannot stop killing by limiting guns, curb obesity by outlawing sugar, or have people not want to use each other by dressing modestly.

If we want to solve the problem, we need to start by admitting that we are the problem, that sin is the problem, and that we are sinners.

Knowing that is the first step, and then understanding and responding to the love of God, as demonstrated through Jesus Christ, and adjusting our thinking and living to reflect life’s purpose will solve the problem.