If ideas have consequences, then the idea of ignoring God’s
created norm of a man and a woman being married, committed to each other,
before any sexual union takes place, would have grave consequences.
Births out of wedlock are becoming the norm.[1]
Britain almost has more births out of wedlock than in the context of a
committed marriage. The United States is not far behind Britain, and France,
since 2007, has had more babies born to individuals (notice that I did not say
couples….for a reason) than committed couples.
What is the consequence to this idea? The consequence is instability.
The consequence is instability in the rule of law, instability in the economy, instability
in emotional well-being of all who are involved, and instability in general.
We know that unmarried parents are more likely to split up, their
children learn less in school and are more likely to be unhealthy or behave
badly. Unmarried persons are poorer, less well-educated, and more likely to become
teenage parents. [2]
The bedrock of all relationships is commitment. We commit to God
first and then each other. Marriage is a commitment to the well-being of
another. It is not an institution intended to meet my physical, emotional, and
hormonal needs/desires. When it becomes an institution that is about me, then
the consequence is obvious: others do not matter.
In the end, those who live together without commitment usually
end up in dire straits in that there is no way to live in community and be
about self. In most cases, the man will usually leave and go on to others whom
he can manipulate, control, and use to meet his desires, while losing interest
in those for whom they now should be caring.
The wives/moms usually do not leave. The children born to them
were of them and the attachment is strong. The women usually stay in that they
seem to better understand commitment and are seem to be more willing to
rearrange their lives in order to make a better life for their children.
In a land where narcissism rules, however, even the women abandon
the natural, and as that happens, children suffer.
When a nation decides that marriage, as God outlines it, is no
longer important, and that commitment is not the most significant factor in
relationships, the results will be devastating to both the individuals involved
and the nation as a whole.
Because we have decided to ignore God and His obvious and simple
ways, we need to spend hours and hours and millions of dollars figuring out
laws, guidelines, and expectations for those who are in all sorts of
“arrangements.” In a weird kind of way,
those who decided to try and simplify life by not making a commitment complicate
life beyond repair.
Without claiming to understand all of the ramifications of a
non-committed relationship, I would offer at least this partial list for your
consideration.
First, it seems that non-committed couples are the real reason
why we have a debate about abortion. In a committed relationship there would be
no need or desire for an abortion. If we obeyed God, we would only see children
who would be conceived in the context of commitment, and the idea of killing
them would not be an idea at all. The issue we do not want to deal with, both
individually and as a state, is that of obeying God. Choosing to ignore or not
obey God is the problem here; abortion is the byproduct.
Then, it seems that those who will not commit to each other are
choosing to spend countless hours trying to figure out what is “fair” or
“right.” In these cases, since God and commitment are not the guidelines, we
will need to make some up. Legislative bodies will need to decide what is right
and wrong, and have to deal with a host of variables that will be both endless
and exhausting. In our attempts to legislate what is right, we exhaust
ourselves, and eventually become numb to evil that surrounds us. In fact, we
not only become numb, we begin to make laws that make such behavior acceptable,
making those who disapprove of such things the new deviants in our culture.
Then, like a dog chasing its tail, we need to defend those who
chose to disobey, and punish those who have obeyed God, thinking that real
freedom means a lack of guidelines and conviction, when the opposite is
actually true.
Non-committed parents’ children learn less in school because
learning does not happen at school. (School may be a catalyst for learning, but
learning happens in community, in family, and in the observation of significant
adults or mentors that are doing life with you). If a child feels insecure, and
all those from homes where the adults are not in committed relationships feel
insecure, the learning process is often interrupted. Children are distracted,
disconnected, and trying to cope with life rather than live life. Children
begin to be concerned with things that they should not need to even think about,
and are faced with consequences of adults behaving badly, and cannot seem to
enjoy being a child.
Children who grow up in non-committed environments begin to live
as if non-commitment is the norm. This norm eventually turns into their
worldview, and their worldview supports their life-long decisions and actions.
Trying to make sense of Godlessness makes no sense in the end,
and fuels hours and hours of worthless discussions that end up making life more
complicated.
God’s ways are not only right; they are logical. Think of the
mess we are in because we have complicated the simple or logical in both
families and individuals. It is logical that God created, and that He created
man and woman, and made man and woman different. Those who desire to erase the
difference make life complicated and confusing, and this leads to hours and
hours of “clarifying” life and relationships that is both exhausting and
counterproductive.
God made the cornerstone to relationships commitment, not
convenience. Those who make it convenient complicate things, and destroy the
very fabric of relationships.
Living in a society that is dedicated to conforming to a Godless
norm will both exhaust people and resources, and is futile at best.
Godless living makes no sense, and we must never make
senselessness the standard.
No comments:
Post a Comment